Hi! My Name is Jenny

January 1, 2009

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Have you ever seen a movie scene where the person says “hi my name is Mary and I am an alcoholic”? It’s the usual introduction a person makes when they enter a rehab or in this case alcoholic anonymous.

Hi my name is Jenny, I am been deceived.

It all started when I came to this country to work as a caregiver in 2003.  My hopes were high and my dreams were endless.  I wanted to do well, and become a permanent resident so I can bring my husband and 5 years old daughter and finally be able to raise her - or get to know her.  I left my home land in 1999 in pursuit of the mighty dollar, although you can hardly compare the Hongkong dollar to Can or US dollars. She was barely a few months old when I left her in the hands of my mother-in-law to go abroad. I guess my loneliness and longing for her will be another story to tell some other day.

After paying a lot of money to an agency, I arrived here in April 2003. My supposedly employer “disappeared” when I arrived.  Luckily, a friend I’ve met in Hongkong who arrived here earlier had a place for me to stay until I found another employer.   I was lucky enough to find an employer after two weeks. I’ve met people who have been here for over a year and haven’t found an employer, and are out of money.  So I considered myself lucky when I got the employment.

Caring for 3 kids under 10, cooking and maintaining the cleanliness of a 2000 square foot home is not the problem. I’ve gotten use to it from Hongkong. I even don’t mind not being paid for my overtime.  But what i consider deceptive is when I was told before being hired that I will have my own quarter.  Where I can hide my loneliness, nurse my pain and rest my aching body.  My “quarter” is shared with two germans.  Not German gentlemen but German Sheppard dogs.

I know you are probably thinking - why tolerate it?

Well, you see, I can’t complain, I don’t want to jeopardize my employment. It’s not easy to find an employer.  So until I found one-i am stuck in this situation.

But this is nothing in comparison to what I am about to tell you.  My third deception.

When I arrived here, I also met a wonderful man (and so i thought).  He works in real estate, drives a nice car
and seem to have enough money for everything. I could see my dreams becoming a reality.  Oh yes, I am married.  But being away from my husband for over 5 years created some unpleasant consequences (another story).  Suffice it say, he got lonely, but I can hardly blame him.  What can a man do without a
women for that long. However, I also knew we will make it all well when I get my residence and bring them both here - leaving his girlfriend behind.  This futuristic dream sustained me for a while.  Until I met Leo.

Here in this lonely country, I found someone whom I can share my deepest thoughts, my fear, and my dreams.  He is very sensitive and can understand everything I tell him. Being with him is like reading a romance novel.  He showered me with flowers, jewelry and dined me in the finest restaurants. We met once a week at his condo, made love most of time and then he would take me out. He even gave me a ring. No, not an engagement ring but almost. He told me that the ring symbolize his love for me and will be replace by a bigger ring as soon as he closes some bigger deals. That’s when I knew he was the man for me.  Well, I thought i knew.

Then my employers went on vacation and gave me my first full weekend off in 6 months. I called Leo to
tell him that we will blissfully spend the whole weekend together, but he could not be reach.  I thought maybe he was ill or something so i went to his apartment.  His apartment was locked and when I inquired to the condo’s front desk, I was told that Leo had sold the condo and moved out. I called his cell phone but the person who answered it insisted I got the wrong number.  I asked this person how long has he had this number, and he said two weeks. I can only assumed Leo changed cell phone.

I could easily say “bummer”, cry, wipe my tears and move on.  But it’s more complicated than that.  This
third deception is the ultimate, one that involves a life. A life in my belly.

Hi my name is jenny, I’ve been deceived.

Editor’s note: If you have a story to tell, send us an e-mail at admin@caregiversonline.org
It’s confidential and you may write anonymously if you wish.

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